Woman who wondered why Kitimat is called a ‘District’ unprepared for how boring the answer was

Kitimat woman Ellen Degrasse was in for the shock of her life when she underestimated how boring the answer would be to the question of why Kitimat is a District.

“Why are we the District of Kitimat?” asked Degrasse, in her naivete.

Degrasse’s blank stare as she learned knowledge of the Local Government Act.

Hearing the question, one of her friends immediately piped up.

“The provincial Local Government Act actually provides the answer!” said friend Don Fredrickson, as Degrasse suddenly began to worry about what she got herself into.

“The thing is, it starts with a village, which is fewer than 2,500 people, a town is up to 5,000 people, and a city is more than 5,000 people,” said Fredrickson, with way too much on-hand knowledge of this.

“The really interesting part,” he added without irony, “is that a District is when you have a municipal area greater than 800 hectares but have an average population density of less than 5 persons per hectare.”

Realizing her friend had finished answering, Degrasse roused herself back awake to respond with a bewildered “Oh.”

At press time Degrasse is still trying to decide in what instance she would ever find that information useful.