Desperate for next boom, Kitimatians floods Chevron headquarters with piggy-banks full of natural gas

“It’s a miracle,” one board member was overheard saying as dozens upon dozens of Kitimatians flooded the Chevron headquarters’ board room, each with a piggy bank full of natural gas.

Eager for a kickstart to the long-promised liquefied natural gas industry, Kitimat residents gathered up all the natural gas they had, hoping that it would sway company executives to make an investment decision.

The look of wonder and joy from Chevron executives had Kitimat residents hopeful their efforts would work.

“My parents really need this to happen,” said six-year-old Megan, who gave Chevron all of the natural gas she had been given for her birthday.

Chevron itself wouldn’t say specifically whether the stunt worked.

“We’ve taken all the donated natural gas to our holding tanks, earmarked for a future Kitimat LNG project. We can’t say if we’ll do it for sure, but this certainly pushes us in the right direction,” said a company response.

If the company decides against the project they’ll return the natural gas to all who donated, they added.